This year has been a particularly difficult one for everyone and I have not been exempt from this. I don't have much to do other than exist and be tormented by the fact that in order to get ahead in life I have to talk to people... I had proposed myself to get over this and at least learn to socialize better in person, just as I did lockdown had to happen. Talking to strangers on the internet simply because of interests isn't the same anymore, I remember when I felt comfortable talking on public chatrooms in sites like Nectarine Radio and DeviantART. I wasn't scared of what people would say about me because the salt was usually abandoned if either party blocked each other... No, that's not the case anymore.

The reason why I do not feel safe talking to people anymore is because of something that happened 3 years ago on Facebook. I used to make Vaporwave up to last year and I was trying to reach out to other local artists to try and see if we could work together, the one person who was active at the time and responded to me at first lied to an entire group of thousands of people into bullying me... Simply because I asked him to make sure that the venue he was going to perform at had it's permit up to date, a band that's comprised of people I know from college had the police shut down their event because the venue didn't have their permits up to date.

Even though everyone moved on in that group to the next people to harass it shook me that a single person was able to make me look like a villain in front of everyone. I can't get myself to DM people or keep a conversation going online without being in fear of this happening again.

I know none of you care, I don't even know why I bothered to write this here since nobody cares about me.